PROJECT FRIENDSHIP | The One You Look Up To

There are plenty of different types of relationship one can have with another person. One of them happens when you find a person with whom you have many affinities with, but at the same time is the complete opposite of you.

So let me tell you about the one I look up to: A.

 

I met A about seven years ago through a common passion. Both the internet and our love for a popular series of books brought us together and I like to think of our friendship as solid proof that distance cannot stop a real bond from forming.

Even if we have seen each other only a handful of times, those times have been among the best adventures of my life. We have travelled together across continents and seen incredible people and places together. Those experiences wouldn’t have been the same lived with someone else – A was the friend I needed. Not only do we often share the same interests, but I’ve found in A a kindred spirit that I’ve never found in anyone else. It feels great to live through something with your emotions doubled by who’s next to you.

Even though I love this about A, I might love even more the fact that she’s actually nothing like me at all. I have always seen her as the cooler older girl I wanted to be like, so outspoken and strong and sure of herself. She exudes confidence and that’s always left me awed. This is why she is the one I look up to – I’d like to be more like her.

A is an incredible person. She is very friendly and she can make you very comfortable – as long as she likes you. She doesn’t take any bullshit from people. She’s kind hearted and funny and you won’t get bored with her. She’s creative and she’s good at taking care of people. She is, all in all, the perfect example of the good friend. I will always be thankful to our first common passion for bringing me to A.

 

PROJECT FRIENDSHIP | The Little Sister

There are plenty of different types of relationship one can have with another person. One of them comes somewhat closer to having an actual blood bond with someone than the average friendship feeling – it’s almost like having a real sibling, or in my case a little sister.

Let me tell you about my little sister: C.

 

I should start by saying that it took me a while to even decide on what to call this kind of friendship that ties me with C. Some of my favourite options included:

  • The One I Cannot Get Rid Off At This Point
  • The Begrudging Protectiveness
  • The Exasperating One You Can’t Help But Love

Now all these titles sounded maybe a little too digressive, but I think they already give you a pretty good idea of how I feel towards C. I have know her for as long as I can remember and, even though she’s really only a handful of days younger than me, for some reason I have always considered her to be my little sister.

Not having any actual siblings, what do I even really know on the matter? It’s hard to say for me, but I imagine I would feel the same way for her if she was related to me by blood: sometimes I cannot stand her, in that childish sort of way of someone who annoys me by stealing all my toys. If I had to spend all my time with C, I know I would go nuts pretty quickly – yet at the same time I seek her out and think about her very often, needing to know what she’s up to.

She’s my little sister because I want to be there for her whenever she needs me. She’s my little sister because I am more than willing to throttle whoever is crazy enough to hurt her. She’s my little sister because I want to spoil her endlessly and be the one to teach her things. She’s my little sister because I always want her to know that I’ll always be there for her, the one firm point she will always be able to count on – no matter how far away from each other we might be.

“There might be millions of roses in the whole world, but you’re my only one, unique rose.” – The Petit Prince

She’s my little sister because it’s my duty to protect her – even when I don’t agree with her choices, even when I don’t even really understand her, even when I get pissed off with her.

When we were younger I thought we’d grow up to be just like one another, but now I can see we couldn’t be any more different. I realize it’s much better this way – our differences help us improve each other and balance us. We’re two kindred spirits with completely different world views – just like good sisters, we help each other grow up.

“If you ever find yourself stuck in the middle of the sea
I’ll sail the world to find you
If you ever find yourself lost in the dark and you can’t see
I’ll be the light to guide you

We find out what we’re made of
When we are called to help our friends in need

You can count on me like 1, 2, 3
I’ll be there
And I know when I need it
I can count on you like 4, 3, 2
And you’ll be there
‘Cause that’s what friends are supposed to do, oh yeah
Ooooooh, oooohhh yeah, yeah

If you’re tossin’ and you’re turnin’
And you just can’t fall asleep
I’ll sing a song beside you
And if you ever forget how much you really mean to me
Every day I will remind you

We find out what we’re made of
When we are called to help our friends in need

You can count on me like 1, 2, 3
I’ll be there
And I know when I need it
I can count on you like 4, 3, 2
And you’ll be there
‘Cause that’s what friends are supposed to do, oh yeah
Ooooooh, oooohhh yeah, yeah

You’ll always have my shoulder when you cry
I’ll never let go, never say goodbye
You know…

You can count on me like 1, 2, 3
I’ll be there
And I know when I need it
I can count on you like 4, 3, 2
And you’ll be there
‘Cause that’s what friends are supposed to do, oh yeah
Ooooooh, oooohhh

You can count on me ’cause I can count on you”

 – Bruno  Mars

 

Buddy

PROJECT FRIENDSHIP | The Platonic Soulmate

There are plenty of different types of relationship one can have with another person. One of them is what I can define at best as being completely, platonically in love with some else – it’s a friendship that runs so deep to almost be confused with “true love”, but without the sexual aspect of romantic love.

Let me tell you about my Platonic Soulmate: G.

 

G and I have been friends for quite a long time now – about nine years. It started out slowly and grew into something incredible. I like to think of our friendship as a truly special one, because she is truly special to me.

What makes me think of G as a platonic soulmate? Well, it’s quite simple. What I feel for her is different than what I feel for anyone else. I could go on for hours talking about her. I could tell you that one she smiles at me, I feel like I just got sun kissed by the most beautiful star in the sky. I can tell you that her eyes change colour depending on the weather and her a bit following her mood as well. I can tell you I love the three little triangular moles she has on her arms and I love her curly hair, even when it gets a bit unruly. I can tell you that her voice has the immediate power of calming me down and her laugh is the most perfect melody out there.

…So you might get why this sounds a bit like someone talking about their lover, but she’s my best friend and I think of her as a perfect angel.

Just the other day I had one of my “moments”. G had posted some selfies and I felt the urge to sigh dramatically at her beauty and show those pictures to my mother, asking her “how is she so beautiful?”. My mum smiled at me knowingly – she knows by now how I can get about G. Sometimes I worry – does her boyfriend tell her every day how lovely she is? By God, I hope he does. I should make sure he does…

But this is only the least important part of G. The real wonder is on the inside of her. She is one of the most complicated people I have ever met, and I love that about her. You cannot simply understand her at a single glance – she is a multitude of truths, carefully layered, carefully guarded.

If I had to associate a quote from a book to me and her, I would say this is the one:

“…If people were rain, I was drizzle and she was a hurricane.” – John Green

Because while I don’t think there’s anything particularly wrong with drizzle, it’s something that’s just there – you might as well not notice it at all. Who on earth can miss a hurricane? If it passes near you, it will hardly go unseen – unless you’re the blindest, most unaware person on the planet, and in that case I feel sorry for you. Sure, if it presents itself when you’re not expecting it, it might even hurt you. It might leave a scar. But damn, what an honor to survive a close meeting with a hurricane. Some things – people – are worth getting hurt over, because they leave a mark in your life that changes you forever.

Among the things I want the most in life, if for G to be happy and safe and healthy. I can hardly think of something I wouldn’t do for her. But I have to admit that there are two main reasons I could never give her up, and they are selfish reasons – though maybe, in the end, love is always a bit selfish. I’m still unsure about how love is supposed to work.

The first reason is very simple: she makes me happy. Spending time with her, talking with her about even the silliest things makes me happy. I don’t want to ever give up the feelings that she makes gifts me with, because they’re something positive I can always count on.

The second reason has to do with the complexness of her personality – I think I can say in all honesty that gaining her full trust was a very long process. I can’t pinpoint the moment I did gain it, nor when I even started trying to. But now that I feel like I have that trust… it might be one of the most precious things I have. I will die first than betray that trust. Because a lot of people trust so easily, but not G. So to be gifted with something that barely anyone else has… it makes me feel like one of the most special people in the world. I am forever grateful of this.

So this is why I like to think of G as my platonic soulmate. I am in love with her in the purest of ways and there is not a single thing I would change about her.

She
May be the face I can’t forget
A trace of pleasure or regret
May be my treasure or the price I have to pay
She may be the song that summer sings
May be the chill that autumn brings
May be a hundred different things
Within the measure of a day.

She
May be the beauty or the beast
May be the famine or the feast
May turn each day into a heaven or a hell
She may be the mirror of my dreams
A smile reflected in a stream
She may not be what she may seem
Inside her shell

She who always seems so happy in a crowd
Whose eyes can be so private and so proud
No one’s allowed to see them when they cry
She may be the love that cannot hope to last
May come to me from shadows of the past
That I’ll remember till the day I die

She
May be the reason I survive
The why and wherefore I’m alive
The one I’ll care for through the rough and ready years
Me I’ll take her laughter and her tears
And make them all my souvenirs
For where she goes I’ve got to be
The meaning of my life is

She, she, she” – Elvis Costello